The Mosaic Life with Laura W.

Resilience and Transformation: Navigating Life After a Stroke with Matt McCoy

Laura Wagenknecht / Matt McCoy

What happens when life throws you an unexpected curveball at the age of 35? Meet Matt McCoy, whose world was turned upside down by a stroke, leading to profound changes in his daily life, from losing his job to the inability to drive and even struggling to access basic necessities. In this compelling episode, Matt opens up about his journey through the dark days of depression and weight gain, initially resisting help, until the unwavering support from his parents helped him find a way through. Matt’s story is a testament to the power of community and the importance of asking for help when you need it the most.

Discover the heart behind Stronger Together Wellness, Matt’s innovative initiative aimed at connecting stroke survivors with essential resources and personalized coaching to bridge the gap between medical care and home life. Learn about the pivotal role of peer support in recovery, drawing inspiration from addiction recovery models, and how this approach can make a significant difference for both survivors and their caregivers. This episode also sheds light on the often-overlooked reality that strokes don’t just affect the elderly, highlighting the challenges faced by younger survivors and their caregivers. Join us for a heartfelt conversation on resilience, recovery, and the transformative power of support systems.

https://www.strongertogetherwellness.com/about

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Laura:

Good morning. I'm your host, Laura Wagner-Kanesh, owner of Mosaic Business Consulting, and you're listening to the Mosaic Life with Laura W. A mosaic is a bunch of pieces that, when put together, make up the whole in a really beautiful way, and this show plans to discuss the various pieces of a business throughout different industries and how these pieces, when put together, can help develop a better, more efficient and effective running of your business. To reach me, contact bizradious.

Laura:

Today, my guest is a unique one Matt McCoy. Matt holds a BS in environmental studies from UNCA. He is a certified peer support specialist in North Carolina and he is the inspiring founder and creative director of Stronger Together Wellness For 14 years. Here's his big secret Matt has been a resilient stroke survivor whose firsthand experience ignites his commitment to advocacy and support. He established, excuse me, Stronger Together Wellness after recognizing the profound impact of support groups during his volunteer work, cleverly merging professional guidance with personal insights, Through innovative programs and a compassionate approach, Matt empowers individuals on their wellness journey, promoting the idea that together we can overcome life's greatest challenges. Wow, I just love that combination, Matt. Welcome to the show. It is great to have you here.

Matt:

Thank you, Laura. It's great to be here today.

Laura:

And I got to start out with okay, because you're a young guy. When did this stroke happen? How old were you? Please tell us about this journey of yours.

Matt:

Yeah, I was 35 years old when it happened. Yeah, early January of 2010,. My whole world changed. It was a devastating event and I couldn't believe that it was a stroke. Even the doctors weren't certain in the very first visit. And then after about three days, going back to have it checked out, get checked out. I wasn't getting any better. They said, well, you've had a stroke. And yeah, it was devastating.

Laura:

Yeah, and so what was the impact that this had on you?

Matt:

So I was at Mission Hospital for a week and then transferred over to Care Partners here in Asheville for about three weeks and for me, the effects that I had mainly suffered on the left side of my body. The stroke happened up on the right side of my brain, so left side had partial paralysis, dealing with a lot of balance issues and some blurred vision.

Matt:

And so I, you know, I get out of care partners and I go home, and the impact is is even more noticeable at that point because I don't have all these care caregivers around me. It's basically I'm alone there, and so without resources, without without much at all, but, but just some confusion and what to do now.

Laura:

Yeah, and, and I can only I can't even imagine, I have to admit. But you know, what did this do for you in terms? I can only assume you were working and you were. You had a life, you know, prior to that. I'm just wondering what happened.

Matt:

I had a great job. I was very active, I was a big runner. About five years prior to the stroke, I'd run my first marathon and planned on doing some more, but the stroke got in the way of that. So after the stroke, I get home and I certainly wasn't able to walk. I couldn't drive, I ended up losing my job. I wasn't able to walk, I couldn't drive, I ended up losing my job and, yeah, just all these things that we take for granted were gone. It was hard to move around my house, not being able to drive, accessing food was difficult. Not being able to work, I didn't have any income, so it was very challenging.

Laura:

Wow, and you're talking about accessing food. I hadn't even thought about that. So it was very challenging. Wow, and you're talking about accessing food. I hadn't even thought about that. Yeah, so you're saying like other people had to go shopping for you and get you food, bring you food. Talk to me more about that.

Matt:

Yeah, I did. I asked for some help but, being a young guy, I was very stubborn, I didn't want to ask for help, even after the stroke. You know, I consider I was a very independent person I still feel that way but it and it was hard to ask for help and and uh, you know, there were times that I didn't and then times I reached out and I did. But I know, you know, looking back, how important it was to reach or would be to reach out to help, how willing folks are to help.

Laura:

Yeah, yeah. And I think it is interesting that we take the onus on ourselves to say, oh, I can't ask for help, right, it's too much. People are going to think I'm weak, or people are going to think I'm X and and then also feeling like we don't want to be a burden to others, right, exactly.

Matt:

Yeah.

Laura:

Yeah, but so you lost your job and now you have a transportation issue. So what did you do?

Matt:

Well, ultimately, I ended up losing my house out of this.

Laura:

Oh my gosh.

Matt:

Yeah, I was very fortunate, laura. My folks offered to let me move in with them. They were down in Florida and they opened their home up to me and let me come down there and just gave me the support I needed to get back on track, to find my way back to who I am, or was.

Laura:

And when you went down there, how much time had passed between the time you left the hospital and went home by yourself to the time you went down to your folks.

Matt:

It was around 18 months.

Laura:

Wow.

Matt:

So you struggled for 18 months.

Laura:

Wow, so you struggled for 18 months. You were trying desperately to do it on your own for 18 months.

Matt:

I was struggling and I, you know, I, I, I, I didn't. I went down. Let's see, I got very depressed. I was very depressed and I chose eating as a coping mechanism and gained. I gained a hundred pounds in 18 months. I got I was so depressed in this really dark place and just put on a lot of weight and did not reach out for help, which I should have. But yeah, it got to be a dark and lonely place.

Laura:

Well, and, and it was great that your parents stepped up, we never stop being kids, right, we are always their babies and stuff, right. But I am wondering, what kind of support did they lend themselves, lend to you, rather? As you were going through this and how long were you there?

Matt:

Well, like I said, they just opened up their doors to me and let me come in and that was really a start of what I needed, you know, the foundations just having shelter, a safe place to live, access to good nutritional foods. I had access to a swimming pool. That was so helpful in my recovery, you know. So just being a support, just check it in with me, just to be around other people, you know, and the fact that they were my parents was made it even more awesome. But just that connection, you know, isolation is such a lonely place to be, so it was that was really helpful, just to be around them it was that was really helpful, just to be around them.

Laura:

Well and and you think about the folks that may have experienced this during COVID and the fact that they couldn't even be closer to other people and such so yeah, so I can really appreciate that journey, but I am. I want to take a step back and say so you, you're, you leave the hospital for 18 months, you're struggling on your own and I'm curious what did you try to do on your own to access resources, to access services and things like that? What was that journey like?

Matt:

Well, it was really frustrating. You know, I did have a little bit of support from an agency and they pointed me in a direction of things you know, here's where this resource is and here's where this resource is. And it stopped at about that point. So, and I'll give you an example, I reached out because I lost my job and I was not able to work. I reached out for disability to apply for that Right Right.

Matt:

I called them up and the response I get is well, are you able to tear a movie ticket? And I said, well, yeah, I can do that. And they said well, you'll never get disability, so I stopped.

Laura:

Oh, my goodness.

Matt:

I stopped trying. Oh wow, I didn't. I didn't know how to Right and I didn't know what, what avenues to go down. I didn't know what I needed. You know, I just I didn't know where to start to get what I was looking for.

Laura:

So well, and it's so funny, you say that because over and over I hear I don't know what to ask, because I don't know what I need.

Matt:

Right.

Laura:

Right, yeah, and so yeah, wow, wow, and so you were finding yourself in that same position, where you didn't.

Matt:

And I would just give up pretty quickly after you know, if I couldn't find an answer pretty quickly, I would just stop looking, and just. You know, at that point I was just hope was gone, essentially.

Laura:

I had no more hope left gone. Essentially, I had no more hope left. Oh wow, I'm so sorry to hear this, but because of this it sounds like you've been inspired to give people a different experience.

Matt:

Absolutely. You mentioned in the bio there about being inspired through volunteering and I've been volunteering for nearly a year now leading stroke support groups at a local rehab facility and I see well, just in our group shares what people are needing. You know I see myself in them one in how I was in that early, early phase of my recovery and not knowing anything, you know, just being just had no idea what was going on. A stroke is such a wild thing that happens.

Matt:

One day you're a normal person and the next day you're not able to move, Wow, and so just trying to figure that out, but then you know. So seeing the groups have inspired me by seeing what each person that comes into the group might need when they get home some resources that would have been helpful for me to have had you know, you started this company.

Laura:

Stronger Wellness Together or Stronger Together?

Matt:

Wellness, stronger Together. Wellness yeah.

Laura:

Thank you, thank you, my apologies. And so what does this company do then? What does your company offer?

Matt:

we are. We are trying, we want to bridge the gap between when someone leaves primary care and moves back into their lives at home, because we're different people after a stroke. When we get home, our home doesn't change, you know, the world's still going on out there, but when we get home we're a different person and so we want to be able to help that, ease that person that stroke survivor back into their home and make that transition as easy as possible and offer them as many resources as they need to help them get to a point where they can focus on their physical recovery and mental recovery. A stroke is, you know, it hits mentally almost more than it does physically, you know. So we want to be able to provide resources to give them an opportunity to be able to recover fully and get back to their life as they once knew it, or whatever their life might be now.

Matt:

You know, I look back at my life pre-stroke and I look back. I look at my life now and I'm a different person and I'm grateful for this person that I am back. I look at my life now and I'm a different person and I'm grateful for this person that I am and I've become, but not everybody gets the opportunities that I have.

Laura:

Yeah, yeah, well, and and so it sounds to me like you're doing more than just providing resources, though that there's this peer, you know, mentorship, if you will, or peer support. Yeah, can you talk to me a bit more about that, because I can only imagine we know how mental health has a stigma around it and, just as you mentioned, asking for help is a real challenge for a lot of people, especially if they're under 65 years right. So you know how will this program help them, how would that particular element help them?

Matt:

So the peer support portion of it is it's really geared towards a one-on-one coaching type, working with a person and helping them achieve. It's really specialized or catered to their needs. I'm meeting them where they are. Where are you at? What do you need? What are your needs right now? Doing some goal setting, trying to see where do you want to be, where do you want to try and get to at this week or this marker or this marker, and helping people achieve those goals and hold them accountable. To do that. We touched on the resources earlier. But to be able to. If someone doesn't have to worry about getting unemployment because they lost their job or disability, that's one less thing they have to worry about so they can focus more on their recovery. And I can help them so they can focus more on their recovery.

Matt:

And I can help them, maintain that focus and guide them along. And being a peer support is using lived experience, and that's so important, I feel like in a number of worlds, but especially in this stroke support world. I've been through that. I know what that experience is like, so I can sit down with you and I can understand a bit about a lot of what you're going through.

Laura:

Yeah, yeah, well, and it's such a common model for people who are going through addiction issues right, and that peer support. They even actually certify these people, because there's no better person than a person who's already been through this experience themselves and struggles with X, y or Z, or understands the plight that you've gone through and the long road that it takes to recover from this.

Matt:

Right yeah.

Laura:

Yeah absolutely. Well, and to that end I am wondering then this sounds like a great, great company that you're developing here. What you know, what do you? What would you like toFundMe campaign to get this business started?

Matt:

And we would certainly appreciate any type of support that folks could offer. In that and by supporting this company, stronger Together Wellness, you're helping people as they, like I mentioned, mentioned earlier, as they transition from out of primary care back into their lives at homes, and you're you're supporting their caregivers, who have also been introduced into a whole new world of a life after stroke. Their, their lives are altered at that point and we're you know we're we'll'll be leading groups or support groups as well. So you know that would be, that would be helpful, if any, if you folks could make a donation.

Laura:

So you're talking about? You think that people are going to support the program. My apologies that, in addition to supporting the person who has the stroke themselves, you're also supporting the caregivers.

Matt:

That's right yeah. Oh that's fantastic. Yeah, absolutely. The caregivers play a huge role. Oh, yeah, you know, I, I, uh, I didn't have a caregiver immediately, you know, after leaving the hospital. But a lot of folks do have a caregiver and, depending on what sort of the effects of the stroke when the person gets home, you know, it may be that the caregiver has to all of a sudden leave their job to care for the stroke survivor.

Laura:

Exactly.

Matt:

Yeah, they're going to need resources and support groups and things like that, so it's very challenging.

Laura:

Yeah, yeah, and you know, we don't think of young people having strokes. We think of people who are over 65 might have strokes, right, and so what you're bringing up is such a huge issue. You know what? What percentage of people under the age of 65 have strokes, do you know?

Matt:

that, or is it? I don't know that. I know that there it's a lot higher than you would think it is. I want to say it's about 30%. I think it's even more than that, is it? Well, it might be, and I should know that, but I know that it is.

Laura:

Didn't mean to put you on the spot there, dude, sorry.

Matt:

I'm not good with numbers. No, I'm just kidding.

Laura:

Mr Engineer.

Matt:

It's quite a bit higher than what you would expect, and strokes do not discriminate at all. They don't care about age, race, color or any of that. It affects all of us and you know. I'm sure you'd be surprised to know how many people that you're close to actually that have a stroke survivor in their family, a stroke survivor in their family.

Matt:

I find that quite often that people I'm talking to about this company are like, wow, my father-in-law could have used a service like this, or so-and-so. So there are quite a large number of folks out there that have had experience with strokes. I'm 65.

Laura:

Oh, yeah, yeah. And so when we think about a person who's going through a stroke, I know my in my assumptions, when you know, when I was thinking about this, that on the left side, like you say that their arms can't move and and their left side of their face is drawn down, and you know their lack of mobility is permanent, and I'm hearing from you that that's not the case, that it's not permanent, it's not always the case.

Matt:

No, in some cases it can be, yeah, but in my case I regained probably I'm probably about 98% back. Wow, you know I'm a very active person. Again, it took me a while to get here. It took a lot of work to get to where I am right now A lot of hours exercising, eating well. But you know there is hope. You know any progress is progress and it may be that, you know, one day you're only able to take 10 steps and two weeks later you can take 20. But as long as we're making some progress, it's encouraging.

Laura:

Oh, yeah, yeah, and I think that that is part of it. I can only imagine that you compared yourself when you were younger and you needed to. You know you were able to do X, y and Z. Why can't you now? Right, and? And so that's not what you compare it to. You compare it from yesterday to today.

Matt:

Yesterday and today, and you know, that's where our support groups come in. They're really valuable because the survivors can look at their peers in these support groups and get encouragement there, and these are people they can relate to. And then we celebrate the small victories. You know whether it's just one day, maybe you're not able to raise your hand and the next day you can raise it for the next week.

Matt:

Just small things like that that anybody that never suffered a stroke would not wouldn't think much about it. But as being a peer support business, we can. We can appreciate those things having through it.

Laura:

Yeah. What do you think is the biggest lesson you learned along your journey here?

Matt:

your journey here. Oh gosh, a number of them Definitely more resilient, more patient more empathetic.

Laura:

Okay, well, that's really fantastic. If people wanted to get to know more about you or go to the GoFundMe page, how can they contact you?

Matt:

They can go to our website, which is strongertogetherwellnesscom.

Laura:

Okay, excellent, and is the GoFundMe page Stronger Wellness Together, or is it something else? It?

Matt:

is it's under the heading Help. Turn Stroke Survivors Into Thrivers.

Laura:

Oh, I love it, love it. That's fantastic. Well, I really can't thank you enough for sharing your story, matt, and giving us all a little inspiration that we could all use. So thank you very much.

Matt:

Thank you, laura, it was a pleasure. It was great to be here.

Laura:

Yeah, and I really want to thank the audience for listening and please go to bizradious and click on shows. Thanks so much for listening and have a great rest of your day.